Friday, April 4, 2008

I told you not to call me

So you're getting calls from collections... how many of you have picked up the phone and yelled "stop harrassing me" and hung up? Put you hands up high where I can see them.... hmmmm, lots more than I thought. So what did that solve? All you did was get mad and yell...feel better now? Did the calls stop? Didn't think so. There is only one state where the consumer has the power to verbally cease a collector from calling your home number. Otherwise, you have to request the calls to be stopped in writing. Is that so hard? Apparently it is because many a consumer threatens to do it but very few follow through. Just remember, by not talking to the collector you lose the opportunity to negotiate a payment schedule or settlement amount. Why would you want to pay the full amount if you didn't have to? This is the first time I will say this: ALL DEBT IS NEGOTIABLE. And the time that it is most negotiable is the end of the month. Collections is comission-based, just like car sales.... and the best time to buy a car is the end of the month... get it? But if you act like a dickweed and sling shit at the collector working your account he will look for ways to fuck you. If you are nasty enough, the collector will be hoping to leave you naked and bleeding like Jeffrey Dahmer's last boyfriend. But then I have a suspicion this scenario pertains to just about anyone that works the phone beat in cube land. So try to find it in yourself to be civil to that bodyless voice - I know it's hard, but nice works.

Now lets move on to the crazy, neanderthal, knuckle-draggers out there.... meaning the collectors, not the debtors... there is legal protection out there for consumers, its name is FDCPA. Google it, wiki it. And if you feel you need legal assistance look for a consumer rights attorney, they will tell you if you've got a case.

It's a shit world out there -- for everyone. But I'm not gonna throw a pity-party and don't send me an invitation if you're planning one. Debtors, just try to pull yourself together enough to deal with your problems and collectors, don't kick someone when they're down cuz the tables are gonna turn some day.

And remember why you've got two ears and one month.