Thursday, April 3, 2008

When Pigs Fly

So what do you all know about the world of debt collecting and debt collectors? The job doesn't totally suck but it's definately down there with porta-potty cleaner and hospital housekeeping aide. All of them involve a lot of shit.

So why do I do it? I am reminded every day that I am just one catastrophic event away from being destitute. That's the majority of what I experience every day... people getting divorced, people with chronic medical conditions that can't work, people that have just lost a grip and given up - sometimes with good reason, sometimes not.

Today I'm an optimist and believe the majority, meaning 99% of people that wind up in collections, sincerely want to pay their bills.... yeah, and the American public sincerely wants to lose weight. Really. Unfortunately, they also what to procrastinate and prolong the pain of owing money. Do people not understand that neglected bills can and do become judgements, wage garnishments and property leins? I don't like being the bearer of bad news but that mysterious lump in your neck is eventually going to kick your ass and then you will be sad.

And just because your life went to hell in a handcart you're entitled to throw in the towel and say "fuck it" to your finances??? That's why they came and took your car last night. That's why the bank is telling you need to move and become a renter again. That's why you credit card was refused at Target last night. Did you bother to call one single creditor to tell them that right now, you are totally fucked financially and that the only reason you have two nickels to rub together is because you stole them off you dead mother's eyes?

How many letters did you ignore before the calls started? And how many calls have you not returned?

All you have to do is return my calls and tell me all about the shitstorm that is your life and I'll stop calling. And hopefully during that call you might listen to my advice and start making small payments on your account. If not, I don't have a whole lot of control over what happens next. If you're a dick to me I'll send the account to the legal department and they can have their way with you. If you think you are sad now, you will be more sad later - just can't say when.

Remember, the calls might go away but the debt doesn't.